When You're Ready
Short story about coming closer before we feel worthy.
For years, Thomas promised himself that one day he would start praying again.
When he was a better person.
When he stopped getting so angry.
When he forgave his brother.
When he became less selfish.
When he finally felt worthy of standing before God.
Until then, he thought, there was no point pretending.
One evening, he sat with his grandmother in the kitchen and told her about it.
She listened quietly while peeling an orange.
"I'm just not ready yet," he said.
She separated a slice and handed it to him.
"Do you remember when you were little and came in from the garden?"
Thomas smiled. "Sort of."
"You would walk in here covered in mud. Hands, face, shoes. Everything."
"Sounds about right."
"And what would I tell you?"
"To go wash myself?"
She laughed.
"No. First, you would run to me."
Thomas looked at her.
"And do you think I waited until you were clean before I hugged you?"
His smile disappeared.
His grandmother placed her hand over his.
"You're trying to make yourself clean so you'll be worthy of love. Maybe it's the love that will help make you clean."
That night, for the first time in years, Thomas sat beside his bed.
He had no beautiful words.
He was still angry with his brother.
Still ashamed of things he had done.
Still not the person he wanted to become.
So he said only:
"Here I am."
And this time, he didn't ask to become good enough to come closer.
He simply came closer.
Perhaps we don't need to change in order to become worthy of love. Sometimes, it is only when we let love in that change begins.
Inspired by Bhakti Yoga
An original modern Ohananda story inspired by Bhakti Yoga. Thomas and his grandmother are fictional; this is not a traditional or historical account.
Inspired by Bhakti Yoga — the path of love and devotion.
One of the central insights reflected in Bhakti traditions is that approaching the Divine does not require us to first become perfect. Devotion is not a reward for overcoming every weakness. We can come as we are — and love itself can become part of our transformation.
What are you waiting to fix before allowing yourself to come closer?
